Death to Technology

Crafting has been slightly impossible due to the recent invasion in my office. My husband recently got a xbox 360 as a gift from his brother and since I have the main Internet thing whatever you call it, I was informed of the necessary placement right smack dab in the middle of my desk. Not only have I inherited the actual machine but everything that goes along with it. The large pile of wrapping material, instruction manuals, and the actual games themselves. When I asked if these too are indeed necessary permanent room fixtures, I was given the look as if I had asked the world’s stupidest question. I came to terms with my office now being shared with the addictive idiot box contraption, but I have not come to terms with the new popularity status of the actual room. I used to have this nice relaxing room that I could chill out and do my thing in. Not anymore. At approx 7 am my husband likes to ease into his day by getting a little halo fix in and eating his breakfast in here. My youngest then decides to bring every single one of her toys in here to share with daddy before he dives into work for the day. I then manage to step over toys all day long until about 3pm when jr. video gamers arrive home from school. They then battle to see who can get their homework and chores done faster and run to get to the devil machine first. If you are a mom you are probably saying that is a good thing right? No, mainly because they are just hoping you don’t notice they skipped half of their chores See once your kid (or husband) get the controller in their hand forget it. Complete zombie. You literally need to stand directly in front of the TV with your arms waving at warp speed to even get the slightest bit of response. Sometimes that doesn’t even work because video gamers have this ability to do the head tilt, and look at the tiny bit of screen you cannot cover up. The head tilt is usually accompanied by some sort of wailing. My favorites are, “you just killed me,” “I almost had the level beat,” or the ever popular “I get another turn now because mom messed me up!” A few times I have tried the turning off the machine tactic. It’s great if you don’t mind getting the “I didn’t get to save my game” comments and dirty looks for the rest of the day. Ok so we have established the room is a complete crap mess now and extremely popular. Let’s move on to my personal favorite. The smell. The room is warm to begin with due to the fact that, Malfoy, my 6ft boa lives in here with his heat lights. Now add a 9 year old who literally sweats from the intensity of the only exercise he will get all day, and remembers to put on deodorant once a month if I am lucky. Not exactly the sweet smell of roses. There is always an abundance of snacks in the room and with my children it seems as though most of it hits the floor. Add that to the playdough and my carpet looks like abstract art. Now comes the 5 oclock hour, or what I like to refer to as “viva la vino” hour. Dad is off work and wants to play! My husband is a controller hog, so after about 20 mins WW3 begins over who has had the longest turn and who gets to go next. In the middle of this entire mix boogie has managed to pull out every crayon, marker, sticker and glue stick unnoticed and gone to town with them. Just when dinner is ready and I think the madness will stop, I realize I have called my family to eat 10 times with no response. I stop. I count. I breathe and then a dream sequence enters my head in which Al Pacinos blood starts running through my veins and I yell, “Say hello to my little friend,” as I pull out my hot glue gun and take the stinking xbox down like the inferior piece of crap it is. Then I smile!